*****  Priority Transmission  *****
           *****  Starfleet Emergency Channel  *****
      *****  Photon Tube Maintenance Section Only   *****

Effective this stardate, all Photon Tube Maintenance Personel  are directed
to refrain from loading the Torpedo Tubes with facsimile torpedos which, upon
"Detonation" extrude a flag with the word "Bang" on it.

This practice, while amusing, does little to encourage a belief that the fleet
is a serious organization capable of defending, in a military action, worlds
which are members of the UFP.

Violations of this directive will result in disciplinary action against the
officer(s) involved.  Infractions will result in an immediate grade reduction
to kitchen waste management.

Make it so.
Admiral Beagle
Starfleet Command
Sol System.